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Economist loses his mind over tax avoidance campaigning

A pre-eminent economist is slowly but surely losing his mind after being bombarded with General Election rhetoric concerning tax avoidance plans from parties.

The Institute of Fiscal Studies’ director Paul Johnson is positively tearing his hair out when it comes to the main parties arguing over which one would do the best at reclaiming cash from those playing fast and loose with tax regulations. In his opinion, they’re really doing nothing more than simply pulling figures out of their arses in the same way magicians pull rabbits out of their hats. In fact, Johnson even went as far as to say that the whole situation is “deeply depressing.”

Between the Lib Dems, the Tories and Labour, you would think that we don’t even have a deficit with the billions they say they’re either planning to reclaim or that they have already saved. Meanwhile, Johnson points out that it’s nearly an impossibility to know from the beginning what a Government will be able to achieve from a tax avoidance crackdown.

The whole thing, if you ask me, is proof positive that you shouldn’t send a politician to do an accountant’s job. I agree with Johnson, who went on to say that the main parties have incomprehensibly ruled out shedloads of straightforward, no-nonsense ways of increasing tax revenue. Meanwhile the only plans left over are completely nonsensical in every way, shape and form, and the only thing happening now is that each party’s representatives spend most of their time attacking their counterparts’ plans instead of improving their own.

It’s getting to the point where the whole thing just makes my head spin. Who are you supposed to vote for at this point? Furthermore, how do these blokes keep up with the debates with their heads jammed so squarely up their own arses? Do they breathe through their feet? It’s a medical mystery that certainly needs to be solved if you ask me.

Honestly the only thing I can say about the matter is that whatever party wins this next General Election, we all lose in one way or another. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go down to my local and wash my brain clean by having several pints.

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