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Vodaphone tells Government to jog on in tax avoidance row

British telecoms giant Vodafone has flatly refused to pay its corporate tax bill, refuting charges of tax avoidance leveled at it by, well, everyone I suppose.

Poor little bullied Vodafone. It’s just getting picked on by the Government, as apparently asking the mobile phone service provider to pay its fair share of corporation tax is apparently tantamount to being bullied according to Nick Read, chief financial officer for the multinational. Never mind that it’s been three bloody years in a row that Vodafone has sought fit to skip out on paying even a penny in corporation tax.

UK profits for the company are supposedly ‘minimal’ according to Read, who said recently that Vodafone should be given a free ride because of its £1.8 billion 4G network investment in the UK and how it’s planning to open some 150 new shops. We should all be grateful for Vodafone’s hard work and simply give it a pass.

That’s complete and utter bollocks of course. Yes there are certain allowances for companies investing heavily in British infrastructure improvements but let’s get real here for a moment: three years in a row? Is Vodafone stark raving mad? You can’t get away with that – nobody would be able to tell HMRC to jog on for three consecutive years without being hauled in front of a magistrate. Go ahead, imagine what would happen if a contractor decided to simply stop paying his or her taxes for even one year let alone three.

The arrogance of Vodafone is astounding, if you ask me. Even if their UK profits are supposedly minimal, they should still be paying some sort of taxes on it. Even if it’s just a few thousand pounds – just something to show that it’s not just taking the entire nation for a ride. Something. Anything for pity’s sake. Bloody Nora, the whole idea of just flatly saying ‘no, we’re not paying, we’re above such petty things’ infuriates me to no end. And let’s be totally honest here – in 2013 Vodafone sold off its stake in Verizon and it made some £84 billion.

Does it still sound like they made only ‘minimal’ profits? Go on, pull the other one. Bunch of greed, grasping bastards. I sincerely hope something terribly inconvenient happens to Nick Read. Hopefully something that’s suitably humiliating as well, like being slapped across the face with a raw codfish.

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