Traditionally this is the Silly Season, when the Press have to file stories about singing sheep to fill the papers since there is no real news to talk about. But actually there are not one but two interesting stories to ponder this week, one illustrating how very confused the whole immigration argument has become and the other illustrating just how out of touch with reality the Senior Civil Service seems to be.

Firstly, immigration. A large delegation of politicos, business leaders and sports stars (why sports stars?) led by Mr Cameron has been dispatched to boost our trade with India. Given that they are a tiger economy in their own right, this is probably a good move. Snag is, the Indians and Vince Cable have been talking about opening up the barriers to immigration while everyone else is talking about closing them. Remind me, what is the definition of “Coalition”?

Still, Mr Cable is actually correct; bless him; the ability to allow highly skilled workers in to the country to fill necessary gaps in our native skills is a good thing, not least because we have signed reciprocal treaties that mean we have to do so. Sadly this has got wrapped up with the whole net immigration argument which in turn has evolved from the last government’s unofficial but very real open door policy. We do actually need these skilled people, be they heart surgeons or chefs who understand Thai cuisine. Provided they pay their way and add some value to the UK economy, what’s the problem?

However, before we get all optimistic about them, how about the government looks at abuses of the system first? There isn’t a skills shortage in IT; we have 40,000 IT graduates out of work and hundreds of good applicants for almost every role. Why then, do we allow IT staff to come in on Intra-Company Transfers in their thousands to learn how to do our jobs so they can export them back home?

This is an entirely different issue to the one about net immigration. It would be nice if HMG and the Press could get that difference clear so we can have a reasoned argument about it…
The other interesting story is that the current IT Director for HMRC, a certain Mr Singh, is finishing his three year fixed term contract but staying in post as a freelance through his own shiny new limited company. Instant cries of “Foul” and “Why isn’t he being done under IR35?” arose. Unfairly perhaps, since he hasn’t yet had to fill in a tax form so his position under IR35 is unknown. OK, he’s a classic IR35-caught candidate, and I can’t believe HMRC would let him get away with anything, but he hasn’t done anything wrong yet.

Or has he?

The point of a Fixed Term Contract is that it has a definitive, pre-agreed end date: the clue is in the name. So why, after three years, is there not a suitable replacement lined up ready to go, either from the open market or by promotion from within? Is there really only one person suitable in the whole of the UK? Surely not…

But there’s even more to this debacle…

They are paying Mr Singh as a freelance a day rate equal to around four times his previous salary. HMRC mandarins claim this is to achieve parity with an equivalent Deloitte consultant. Fine, except Mr Singh doesn’t work for Deloitte and so doesn’t have to support myriad partners and office buildings. Nor a sales and marketing team, apparently. So while it‘s good that HMRC accept that freelance workers have greater overheads than employees, something we’ve been arguing about for at least ten years, a little bit of market perspective wouldn’t go amiss. Especially when it’s our money they’re spending.

You could also argue that Mr Singh, having failed to identify a suitable replacement, has significantly failed one of his key duties. After all, had he gone under a bus, clearly there is nobody in the organisation, or outside it, ready to take over. So much for continuity planning then.

We could also query the proper application of the OGC tendering rules for new staff and various other inconsistencies, but let’s not Labour the point more than necessary.
In May I was hopeful that our shiny new Coalition had a clear idea of where they were going and why. I confess I am beginning to have my doubts.

Alan Watts can found found at LinkedIn.
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Image: Their serious sides by tim_d

There’s been mixed reactions to the Coalition’s plans for the promised IR35 review. Mostly people see the announcement in the Budget as a positive step forward, and even those who previously seemed to have found a new enthusiasm for IR35 seem to have gone quiet.

And you have to admit that Mark Prisk’s reported comments, indicating that IR35 as it stands is doomed, was welcome news, if they were accurately reported.

Of course there are still those who demand immediate action and the instant repeal of IR35 and all its manifest evils, but I fear they are to be disappointed. Let’s face it, we are talking about Government decision making here. Despite the obvious urgency and energy of our new masters, they work at a speed that makes geological time seem positively reckless.

The other thing that keeps coming up everywhere is “What do we replace it with?” I know I wrote about son of IR35 recently, but this constant drip feed of suggestions for how it can be re-worked is beginning to irritate.

For one thing, nobody has yet persuaded me that it needs to be replaced. In my case, I own a Limited Company through which I provide various services to a range of clients (including this blog, for example). The company has been around for many years, is operated in accordance with all the relevant laws and pays all its required taxes without a murmur (well, not a very loud one, anyway…).

So why is there a clamour to single me out as some kind of anomaly and insist that I have to operate under some differential taxation regime because I don’t aim to become a rival to Accenture? Actually I am a rival to Accenture in many ways, but let’s not go there just yet!

With or without IR35, I would still use my company to sell my services, that’s what it does. So what am I doing wrong that some people demand I become some form of special case?

My hope is that HMG and the Office of Tax Simplification will see sense and cancel IR35 with no thought of replacing it. I admit they may take a longer look at small company taxation in the round, but that should be against all small companies equally. Those who for various reasons only have one or two workers are no different to bigger small companies, if you see what I mean, so why should they need different treatment?

On a different subject, I was talking with my last clients recently, who are in the Public Sector, and asked them how they were planning to cope with the impending cuts in public expenditure. Seems they are actually quite relaxed about them, since they’ve been working a programme of examining expenditure and optimising their budget management for several years now. They are confident that they’ve already made the level of savings expected of them. So you have to ask, if that one organisation can do that so successfully, why can’t all of them…?

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There’s no doubt about it, the wholesale contractor accountancy marketplace is big business and everyone wants a piece of the action.

In recent months, a new wave of online accountants have been hitting the forums and contractor portals hard in the hope of gaining a foothold in what is already a fragmented market. Their message is clear – why pay £130 a month for the ‘old school’ contractor accountants when you can get the same, if not better service for a third of the price?

It’s a pretty compelling argument and their proposition is almost too good to be true.

Lets dig a little deeper.

Was is an online accountant?

An online accountant offers contractors an ‘end-to-end’ accounting service. This usually combines a bespoke web-based accountancy package that is backed up by a team of accountants and personal account managers. The idea here is that the contractor or freelancer is able to create invoices, manage their expenses and calculate a real-time view of their business. This then enables them to work out how much they can pay themselves (in PAYE salary, expenses and dividends) without having to produce in-year accounts or time-consuming reconciliations.

Obviously there is an element of work required by the end-user but certainly no more than you are asked to do when working through a traditional contractor accountant, and in some cases much less. The technology is also impressive. Real-time feeds into HMRC, Companies House and the government Gateway make online accountants the perfect choice for any time-precious contractor.

Of course, the more challenging aspects of accounting are managed by the online accountants who will submit VAT, corporation tax and personal self assessment returns on behalf of their clients. They will also handle the Companies House annual return and accounts as well as advising on complex issues such as IR35, family business tax, ESC 16 and the agency workers directive.

How much does an online accountant cost?

Most online accountants pitch their monthly fees around the £50-£60 mark. This includes all of the above services as well as unlimited telephone support and free company setup.

Why are online accountants so cheap?

One word – volume. Most high street accountants are happy with 100-200 clients and are therefore keen to maximise their return on investment for what is a relatively small client base. By making their business scalable, online accountants on the other hand are able to service more and more contractors without taking an enormous hit to their margins. This is why their fees are way cheaper than some of the more well-known contractor accountants.

Where can I find out more?

We have a selection of online accountants in our top 10 directory although companies such as Crunch and My Accountant Friend are definitely worth a closer look. A quick search in Google will throw up at least another 20 providers at the time of writing so take the time to do your research. My guess is that this is just the start of a new and exciting time for the contractor accountancy marketplace……I shall watch with interest.

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Contractor accountants can pass on this welcome news for freelancers and sole traders from Mark Prisk, the small business minister. In a recent interview he said that the comprehensive review the coalition is going to undertake of business taxation will seek to replace IR35 with a long-term alternative.

The rules surrounding IR35 are continually changing and the new government wants to put in place a lasting settlement. The chairman of the PCG, Chris Bryce, is delighted by the news. Although there is still a lot of work to be done in order to find a fair settlement, he is optimistic that his organisation can work together with the government to achieve this.

George Osborne’s budget speech only contained one mention of IR35 when he confirmed that the tax would be reviewed, along with the small business tax, and that the government would release more details soon. It is expected that the review will be launched in the summer.

The coalition has committed to simplifying the British taxation system. They want to implement measures that prevent tax avoidance whilst at the same time ensuring that the self-employed do not face undue administrative burdens.

There are currently around 1.4 million freelancers in the UK who are governed by IR35.

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Image: a dilemma by Julia Manzerova

Now the excitement of the promise actually to consider IR35 for a serious reappraisal has died down a little, I’ve been giving some thought to what that might actually mean. What can we expect Son-of-IR35 to look like?

For one thing, I think there will still be something there that looks like IR35. Let us not forget that the original justification was to prevent the Friday-to-Monday syndrome, where a worker would switch from permanent employment to freelance contract doing exactly the same job. Either the worker did this to take advantage of the tax breaks available to a Ltd Co owner or, more often than people would admit, it was the employer divesting himself of assorted legal obligations, not to mention having to pay Employers NICs.

Of course IR35 stops this, by making the cost benefit of doing this unattractive. Snag is, it also gets in the way of the worker who genuinely wants to go freelance. So my suggestion is that IR35 (or whatever the new version is called) should only apply where the freelance’s client is the same as the immediately previous employer for a period of one year.

However, if we assume that some form of IR35 is still out there post review, the best we can hope for is that there are clear rules about when it applies. Most contractors are angrier about the lack of clarity and resultant uncertainty than about paying the taxes, after all. This is here the original “in business” test comes in – you know, the one that Red Dawn prattled on about while simultaneously refusing to accept that any freelance could possibly be in business on their own account.

But how do you demonstrate you’re in business? That’s the question…

One option is if you are VAT registered. There’s no way you can do that as an employee; even if you did, there would be precisely zero things you could legally claim the VAT back from anyway. You could add in the existence of Your Co to make the test a bit firmer, although that might impact the Schedule D Self-Employed workers. Although the Schedule D self-employed worker can’t really be hit by IR35 since there isn’t an intermediary company in the chain anyway.

Another option is to waive your rights to things like employee benefits, JSA, maternity or paternity leave and the rest of the panoply of employee benefits. The logic is that since you are not paying employee-level taxes, why should you expect to get employee-like benefits?

You could be a bit more imaginative and scrap S44-47 ITEPA 2003 (which replaced S134c) which is the one that makes the intermediary liable for unpaid taxes and is why agencies won’t deal with unincorporated (or non-umbrella) contractors in the first place. Which – whisper it quietly – is why we then got IR35…

Or, of course, you simply delete IR35 altogether – with the sole exception I mentioned above to stop the Friday-to-Monday trick. If there’s no law, there can be no uncertainty. Freelances can choose to work through an entirely legal UK Limited Company and operate it just like every other one. A bit like I do right now.

Or is that too simple…?

Anyway, end of contract today so I’m off for two weeks in the sun. Since I refuse point blank to take my laptop on to the beach – and she who must be obeyed would flay me alive if I tried – the next blog will probably be on June 25th. Let’s hope there’ll be something to write about!

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You would have thought that following last week’s news about the possible replacement (or even repeal) of IR35 that there would be signs of general celebration. But nope, not a bit of it. Quite the opposite in fact.

On one side we have a people saying that it’s only promising a review at some point, so clearly this is just another HMG stitch-up. There’s another group saying it will simply metamorphose into a version of the Construction Industry Scheme, making you an employee unless you supply your own paper tape or something. There’s another group saying that actually IR35 isn’t such a bad thing, it has its uses and we shouldn’t be surprised to see it left unchanged.

I also read one comment that PCG weren’t actually representing freelance workers at all and their work was actively damaging the “real freelances” best interest. Sorry? Didn’t quite follow that argument myself.

Really fills you with joy, doesn’t it…

One thing I have noticed though is that a lot of this negative comment is from people whose business is largely built on the existence of IR35. Fair enough, they’re looking at the business disappearing, but that’s the nature of business, after all. Still, let’s hope they’re simple bemoaning the threat to their business and not trying to persuade HMG to keep IR35 alive so they can keep earning rather than servicing their customers.

So it looks to me like the real advice is perhaps not to believe all you read until you know what the author does for a living.

There’s another group who are predicting the instant demise of PCG if IR35 goes. What they haven’t realised is that IR35 is only a small part of the freelance landscape. OK, it’s a pretty serious one, but even so, some of the plans coming out of Brussels make IR35 look positively benign. There will be a serious role for PCG for a while to come yet.

Finally there’s muttering about the promised Office of Tax Simplification being rigged. Looking at the way these things used to work that’s not a bad conclusion, except it seems that this one will be staffed with genuinely non-political experts with a wide-ranging brief. Certainly the one potential member I know of cannot possibly be accused of being pro-HMRC in any way, shape or form. Or pro-IR35 come to that!

Still, it hasn’t even been formed yet, much less done anything. I think I’ll be keeping up my insurances and being careful to read the contract small print to keep me clear of IR35 for a little while yet. Although hopefully, not too long a while…

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When I wrote my piece last week, I was saying I was suffering a little from having to write it before the election result was known. I didn’t think that I would still be waiting when I started putting this week’s one together…

Anyway, it is all settled for now, and it looks like we really are in for some interesting times. Clearly the next budget will not be pleasant for anyone; certainly some of my contacts in the Public Sector are seriously worried about what the future is going to bring. Although if the markets react positively then things should start to move and there may be more work around for everyone

On the other hand, if they change the tax thresholds – something I actually think is a damned good idea – then a lot of contractors are going to have to rethink their payroll policies a bit. Also if the new government deliver their promised Office of Tax Simplification and put IR35 at the head of the list, then we will have something to celebrate.

Elsewhere there was a far more interesting story on the news this morning. A hospital in Nottingham has switched its food supplier to a consortium of local farms, saving themselves several millions a year but cutting out the retail supply layer and many thousands of food miles. The farmers are also delighted; as one said, until recently he was looking at closing down, now he’s making a profit.

Now that’s something the whole of government needs to take notice of. A few years back I proposed the creation of virtual consultancies, who pick up parcels of work that are normally handed out to the big consultancies (who are usually using contractors to do the real work anyway…). The Nottingham hospital is precisely that – ok, using food instead of code, but you know what I mean – then we are truly in a brave new world.

By the way, what do we call the new government? The BBC is sticking with “the Liberaldemocratconservativecoalition”, which is less than snappy. “ConDem” doesn’t sound quite right either.

But one anagram of Lib Dem Tory is “Bye, Mild Rot”, which sounds fairly appropriate…

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Now here’s a problem. I try to write about things that have happened during the week that might affect us freelancers. Usually I manage to find something worthy of comment, but this week it’s going to be a bit tricky.

It’s because the Election is on a Thursday that I have a slight problem. I normally write these words of wisdom on a Thursday, you see, which means that as I sit here with voting still going on, it’s a bit tricky to find something to talk about that will still be relevant on Friday morning.

There’s not been a lot of news either, if you discount Nigel Farage’s plane crash or the Labour candidate in Bootle losing the end of a finger when bitten by a dog (which all goes to prove everyone’s a critic). There have been some interesting surveys around. One of these shows that over 50% of contractors would vote Conservative. So perhaps there are a lot of people that agree with my views on why I hate this Government.

So I’ll wait a little longer until the exit polls are published and see what they think will happen. In 2005 they were spot on in predicting the result. Then again, the previous four were miles away from the reality. I’ll return to that point a little later

Meanwhile I’ve started hunting the next contract. Tricky operation, with limited internet access at work (I use my own mobile internet link, but we’re in a bit of a black hole where I work) and obviously I can’t keep calling agencies up from there either. Not that agents ever seem to answer the phone these days, it’s a constant litany of “He’s away from his desk” and answer phones. Actually they are well named, answer phones, since that’s all they do. If only someone would invent a Call-you-back-right-away phone, we might get somewhere.

So, the initial exit poll is in. Have to say it’s a bit inconclusive; a swing away from Labour (or, more likely, away from Gordon) but showing the Lib Dems’ share going down, which seems a bit unlikely. And all of a sudden they’re talking about voting reform rather than economic recovery. Good to know the politicians understand what’s really important…

Anyway, no real decisive conclusion. So let’s wait until a few real counts are declared and see what that tells us…

Hmmmm… interesting. Two declared, both safe Labour seats. Both big swings to the Tories. Perhaps IR35 is doomed after all? Fingers crossed!

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Image: Crossing my fingers… by Erica_Marshall

Now that the real dark cloud over the UK has blown away, I suppose we ought to focus on the important stuff, like the election.

I was quite lucky with the flights, since I was already driving rather than flying. Not quite as lucky as one friend, who’s been stuck in the Seychelles for an extra week (and he’s out of contract so had nothing to rush back for either). The problem I have now is the way the election seems to be heading.

Thanks to a bravura – or was it merely unchallenged – performance by Nick Clegg, the polls are all up on the air again. I realise this is probably more of an X-Factor thing than any kind of considered response to his policies, but it does bring back the haunting fear of a hung Parliament. After all, I know more than a few people who vote for party leaders regardless (hence the years of St Bliar) so it is possible that’s what we’ll get.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a lot wrong in Whitehall at the moment, and a good kicking is probably needed – but not this time around, please…

Consider the plight of us poor downtrodden freelance workers. The Tories have in effect promised to do something positive about the dreaded IR35. I hope that means repeal, but even if it doesn’t, we ought to get something we can at least understand and deal with; not something you can say about IR35. However, if they aren’t the guys in charge on May 7th, but some mixed-up partnership or even, forbid the thought, a Labour majority government, then we can forget about any chance of repeal, or even a rethink. That might be a selfish view but hey, I’m a freelance, I look after me.

OK, so the Lib Dems also said they would repeal IR35. That EDM calling for repeal was led by Lorley Burt, and she has recently placed another one on the table on the same subject, just as a reminder. Problem is, her party is also promising to raise taxes on the “better off” in order to pay for various other programmes, like windmill making. Net result, I suspect, will be not to my advantage.

Also, just to add to the confusion, we seem to be seeing stories that are effectively supporting IR35 saying interestingly stupid things like “it underpins other important legislation”. Does it? First time I’ve noticed, to be honest, after ten years of fighting it. Of course there is quite an industry relying on IR35 being there, so perhaps these musings are not entirely unbiased. Who knows…

Still two more weeks and we might find out. Or perhaps we already do: I’m writing this on Thursday, by the time it gets published the latest leadership “debate” will have happened. Perhaps Mr Clegg has already shot himself in the foot, or been outed by the other two. But then if I could predict things like that, I wouldn’t need to work for a living.

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With just over two weeks until the general election, leading contractor accountant Kate Cottrell takes a look at the main parties’ manifestos, and in particular any promises for contractors and IR35.

We have had a couple of weeks of side announcements from the main parties including numerous plans to cut IT projects, cut contracts, cut recruitment and to curb the use of consultants in the public sector. We have also seen “landmark commitments” to “review” IR35 but what do the main parties manifestos say?

Labour

Labour has of course given us a limited insight into their future plans with their budget last month which contained little for contractors. On 14 April they also published a “Tax Framework for Business” in which they have set out how they will work to understand and respond to the views of business. In their drive for a sustainable tax base they have 5 stated principles, competitiveness, fairness, minimising distortions, simplicity and stability and certainity. Of these principles perhaps stability and certainty could hold a promise for contractors and IR35.

However the document goes on to explain that this principle means they would avoid unnecessary changes to tax legislation and where a change is necessary they will try to adhere to a tax-policy making process. The document also clearly states that they will also explain their reasons if they cannot adhere to this process! Labour’s manfesto talks of “creating a shareholding society” along John Lewis lines by reviewing barriers and widening share ownership which is directed clearly at employees. Labour will also consider the construction industry again by extending the Gangmasters Licencing Authority to this sector. Finally Labour are committed to enacting the Agency Workers Directive in full. All in all little for contractors and no mention of IR35.

Liberal Democrat

There is more detail in this manifesto in terms of the figures but again little gain for contractors apart from the proposed increase in the tax threshold to 10K which would impact mainly low earners. The LD’s are calling for a level playing field for business with a promise to review regulations and red tape and in particular a committment to “one in one out” for new legislation and to consult on everything.

We must not forget that it was the liberal democrats who tabled an early day motion for the repeal of IR35 but I understand that many of those who signed and their researchers are considering this again in light of the significant deterrent effect of IR35 and the large sums currently generated from umbrella companies. A more worrying point in this manifesto is a committment to further new powers for HMRC to tackle tax avoidance and tax evasion. As many will know HMRC has been given unprecedented powers and penalty provisions under the current government and the suggestion of more to come is surprising.

Conservative

The Conservative’s manifesto is very business focused and if elected we will quickly see an emergency budget with the removal of the NIC increase. Commitments on small business rates, reductions in corporation tax, moving some of the unemployed to self-employed and cutting costs for bidding for government contracts are all mentioned, as is the introduction of a new Office of Tax Simplification. Apart from the removal of the NIC hike it seems that we will have to await the publication in the first budget of the Conservatives “5 Year Road Map” for timescales on all the other issues and in particular the new Simplification Office tasked with the job of reform.

The Conservatives also commit to giving the public the opprtunity to force the worst regulations to be repealed. The manifesto does not mention IR35 but a committment to review it was given in a side letter. However it seems likely that this will, if taken forward, be a job for the new Simplification Office so could be a long way off.

In summary we have lots of pledges to reform and review from all the parties. Whoever is elected any reforms will of course all come down to the state of the public finances which would suggest that there is a lot of pain to come. None of the manifestos mention IR35 and if we do eventually see lower tax rates and the repeal of IR35 then we can also be certain that contractors will be paying a lot more tax under some other initiative introduced under the banner of fairness and simplification.

Kate Cotterell is Managing Director of Bauer & Cotterell.
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Image: Using a Magnifying Glass and Driving by Mike “Dakinewavamon” Kline

So our Beloved Leader has finally allowed us an election. Good news on several fronts. I make no secret of my desire to see the end of the current Parliament in general and our sitting PM in particular. But before we all get drowned in claim and counter claim about who is best suited to lead us out of the crisis we find ourselves in, I thought I might just remind people why I, as a humble one-man-band contractor, dislike this government quite so much.

Firstly, the iniquitous IR35. Brought in by someone who refused to pay a legally imposed tax to address a problem that didn’t exist and so badly framed only a court could decide if it applied to you or not. So you buy insurances and pay for contract reviews and live in uncertainty, or you go use an umbrella and pay a load of taxes you almost certainly don’t actually owe. Meant to bring in £400m a year, it actually generates around £1.5m. Brilliant work chaps.

Then they killed off MSCs. Not a thing that bothered me, to be honest, but I know of people who were trading perfectly correctly through them who had to shift to a different model.

Then we had the Arctic case, trying to apply the clearly defined S660a legislation to a situation it was never meant to cover and which, in fact, was positively endorsed in the House (by a Tory chancellor as it happens…).

Then when they lost that one they immediately produced the fully-formed Family Business Tax (or Income Splitting, as they termed it). That has never actually gone away, but at least the lobbyists were able to demonstrate just how poorly thought out and generally unworkably ridiculous the whole idea was. So that never saw the light of day, thank God and the PCG. The latest one is the Agency Workers Directive, another piece of EU-inspired nonsense that has a genuine purpose at heart but once again is so badly enacted you still won’t know for certain if it applies to you.

And underpinning that catalogue on ineptitude is the constant failure to distinguish between avoidance and evasion (hint: only one of them is illegal, Gordon), the joyous embracing of selling our IT industry abroad by failing to manage the abuse of the ICT system, the wholly unacceptable retrospective change behind BN66 and a raft of smaller but equally rubbish rules and regulations that blight your working life.

So all in all, I hope never again to hear a dour Scots voice telling me all this grief is in the interests of fairness. It isn’t, it’s in the interests of a discredited socialist agenda that’s wrecked the country and cost me a lot of money for no benefit whatsoever.

So farewell, New Labour. Whoever or whatever replaces you, at least the only possible direction is upwards.

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Image: mixed.emotions.sketch by NET9

I suppose I should also be writing about the PCG’s announcement of the Tory’s proposal for an Office of Tax Sensibilisation, or whatever it’s going to be called, and the fighting chance that we will eventually get rid of the dead hand of IR35. But since a few thousand people have already done that one, I’ll have to think of something else…

Of course this is all a bit dependent on two things; that the Tories win the next election and that they keep their promises. It is perhaps a measure of the low opinion we now have of most MPs that this latter is even a consideration. Having read the letter from the Tories to the PCG, even if they don’t stop IR35 they are certainly making all the right noises about actually supporting small businesses. As opposed to saying you will then bringing in IR35 and re-interpreting S660a and threatening the Family Business Tax.
And following last week’s changes to the ICT rules, this is further vindication of the PCG’s growing stature and maturity. Long may it continue!

Back in the land of the client, we’ve been having fun and games with Procurement again. The rules are perfectly clear, I have to agree. Clear, that is, until you try and apply them to the real world. Then it all goes a bit strange. I can see why you should get comparative quotes for things, but if there’s only one approved supplier anyway, how does that help? Seems I need to fill out a non-competition form to explain why there’s only one supplier. Reason I gave was that it was their invention we were trying to buy and they haven’t let anybody else at it yet. Wonder if that will work.

And then we had a slight organisational hiccup, when we ran out of 40 time-based licences and some key users – like the CEO, for example – couldn’t access a major system. No problem with quotes there, it’s a straight replacement. So I rang the supplier, called in a few favours and asked if they could possible take 3 weeks 6 days of the four week delivery time. “No problem”, they said, “Get me an order”. Great. So rushed through the PO raising process – another labyrinth – got it approved and that was it. Next morning, a message from the supplier; the order didn’t turn up which means we lose at least a day on delivery. So what happened, I asked Procurement “Takes two days to process an order, I’m afraid”….

Just before I told them what I thought of their system, I had the wit to ask for the order number, which they gave me – probably by mistake, of course. So the order is back on track and disaster averted.

So never mind the Tories simplifying tax. Some people’s business processes need a good seeing to first.

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Image: Warhol Troopers by Balakov